Where There's a Will, There's a Way

The title of this post is a play on words, but it can mean many things. Lots of people in my close circle have lost loved ones—some expected, some not so. It’s difficult and my heart goes out to them.

The loss of my dear friend, Geoffrey still lingers as I prepare his memorial service. With all these deaths—or translations into a new life (them leaving this physical plane of existence) the details of what continues here falls on loved ones, which is why it’s important to express your wishes before you go. Sure, no one knows when that will be, and it’s not something we all like to think about. But I have, and I’m working on getting that in order. You may think, ‘oh, I’ll be dead, so who cares?’ A lot of people care, and laws and such don’t make matters as easy as you think.

Fitting that yesterday I decided to finally post. It’s been a while. Last night, after midnight, my husband said, “Love you the mostest.” A game we play.

I asked, “What day is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is it March 12^th?” (even though technically it was March 13^th)

“Yes, why?”

“Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the death of my momma.”

“Oh. How long?”

“44 years.”

“Wow”

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Even though my mom’s death was 44 years ago, I can picture it like yesterday.

Today’s the fourth year that I began this blog because of her. A reason to blog… I started the posts, “Dear Mom,” as I felt it was easier to write to someone rather than randomly writing.

It’s been a crazy month, but where there’s a will, there’s a way. If I turn it over to Spirit, the outcome is a better way.

Memorial Service

Dr. Geoffrey Hilton

Saturday, March 22, 2014

1:00 p.m.

The Joplin Association for the Blind

311 S. Schifferdecker Ave.

Joplin, MO  64801

Does it Matter?

Dear Mom,

Family situations are kind of odd sometimes, don’t you think? My ex-husband (#2), the father of my three children called yesterday. He was getting his will in order. He wanted to know if I had his daughter’s address. This would be his first-born daughter from his first marriage. He said, “I don’t even know her last name.” I told him her last name since she is married and has children of her own now. I also gave him her address. I secretly wished he’d actually contact her.

I can’t imagine not talking to my own children. He probably doesn’t even remember what brought it all on to begin with. And I would have to think, what does it matter?

I understand when one has to use tough love for major situations, but that’s not the case here. It’s simple miscommunication and hard headedness. Why not clear the air and move on? But I can’t interfere. Tried. I’ve learned I’m not the fixer-upper of people and their relationships—they have to do that on their own.

All I know is if one of my children had an issue with me, we’d be wrestling around until we got it figured out—even if we agreed to disagree.

I asked the ex if he had my address. He didn’t get it at first but then busted out a hearty laugh. I took that as a no. I wouldn’t want anything from him, but let me tell you I’d certainly deserve it.