Saturday, May 15, 2010

Does it Matter?

Dear Mom,

Family situations are kind of odd sometimes, don’t you think? My ex-husband (#2), the father of my three children called yesterday. He was getting his will in order. He wanted to know if I had his daughter’s address. This would be his first-born daughter from his first marriage. He said, “I don’t even know her last name.” I told him her last name since she is married and has children of her own now. I also gave him her address. I secretly wished he’d actually contact her.

I can’t imagine not talking to my own children. He probably doesn’t even remember what brought it all on to begin with. And I would have to think, what does it matter?

I understand when one has to use tough love for major situations, but that’s not the case here. It’s simple miscommunication and hard headedness. Why not clear the air and move on? But I can’t interfere. Tried. I’ve learned I’m not the fixer-upper of people and their relationships—they have to do that on their own.

All I know is if one of my children had an issue with me, we’d be wrestling around until we got it figured out—even if we agreed to disagree.

I asked the ex if he had my address. He didn’t get it at first but then busted out a hearty laugh. I took that as a no. I wouldn’t want anything from him, but let me tell you I’d certainly deserve it.


  1. ha ha ha ha ha! i didnt get it for a second either, then i busted out laughing as well. you certainly DO deserve it.

  2. I do know families who are as you described, and I can't imagine it either. I talk to my kids all the time and my life would be so much less without their presence. I'm with you--any problem requires fixing, period. I don't know what any of them could ever do to cause me to turn away from them, and I cannot imagine them shutting me out, either. It is sad when it happens.

    Your address comment was hilarious with just the right acerbic touch. Ha, ha. I'll chuckle about that every time I think of it.


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