Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Introvert or Extrovert?

Dear Mom,

My habit in the morning is to call my husband when I get up. We have a little game we play (that we do with the grandkids too) to say, “I love you the mostest.” Whoever says it first is the person who really does love the person the mostest. Well, not really, but in the game that’s how it works.

We had some laughs one morning and I told him I’d be blogging about him. He laughed some more and said, “Just make sure it’s the truth.” Unlike when he tells a story about me. He’ll say, “My wife was screaming at me….” when all I did was up the volume on my vocal cords—just enough to be heard over the television. In my head I picture his friend thinking of me as some ole hag, scowl on my face, shouting, pointing my finger, “Willis!” (That’s my pet name to husband—and it’s his middle name.)

I was telling Willis this morning, “… as an introvert—“

Willis interrupts. “You’re not an introvert.”

I wondered who I was talking to. Is this Willis? Did aliens take over? “Are you serious? Do you even know me?”

“There’s no way you can be an introvert if you give a talk in front of a crowd or if ….”

I quit listening because I realized he really was clueless. He really didn’t think I was an introvert. Willis thinks I’m a social butterfly. Obviously he has no idea that I force myself to go out into the world. Because my mouth runs nonstop the minute Willis walks into the door, I decided to cut him a little slack. I suppose from his point of view, I may look like an extrovert. If he only knew.

I've recently read The Introvert Advantage by Marti Laney Olson, Psy. D. There’s a true and false quiz one can take if you’re unsure what you are. We’re all born with one temperament or another—it’s not something we can change (temperament-wise), but we can learn to deal with and use other means to our advantage.

Back to Willis… I’m always amazed at the new discoveries of this man. I would’ve thought after 15 years, I’d know it all. Remember, 15 years for me is an eternity in terms of being with the same husband. He’s number four. Do all long-term couples discover new things after years and years? I’m just grateful not to discover he’s the new Ted Bundy. I can deal with the fact that he doesn’t think I’m an introvert.

I’m proud to be an introvert, now that I have a clearer understanding, and know that I’m not “weird” and it's part of who I am.

Mom, I’d say you were probably an introvert. What about you?


  1. Funny! Typical of a man, too. I would say you are DEFINITELY an introvert! I've read that most writers are...being just fine all those hours alone, writing, typing, thinking. Now, I, on the other hand....hmmmm, what do you think I am??!! :D

  2. Well lady, we are going to extract you from your shell...and you know who WE are. My husband thinks I have a job and a HOBBY -writing, and it irritates me that he continues to say that. men!?

  3. Hey, Lynn! Extrovert. Loved hearing about Willis. Wow, 15 years; that is a long time. Glad you are happy.


  4. I loved this post because I've always been an introvert and a little ashamed of it. It's just that introversion used to be slightly frowned upon--at least by some. You made me to realize I'm no longer bothered by it. Sounds like a great book! And I think it's sweet that you're still discovering new things about each other after 15 years...as long as it's good stuff!

  5. I lean toward the introvert side, while Hubby is definitely an extrovert. This is probably a good combination because I'm pretty sure that two extroverts would soon wear each other out!



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