Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Where Is My .... ?

You can ask my husband Norm, he’ll tell you. I lose something about every day.  He claims I’m always asking, “Have you seen my blah-blah-blah?” 

I’m pretty sure there are little invisible munchkins around that take off with whatever it is I’m trying to locate. They wait until I ask Norm. Then he’ll go to the very spot I just looked at and he’ll hold it up and say, “Is this what you’re looking for?”

Norm wasn’t around when I went to the Post Office to pick up something and had two of those light orangish slips that you have to give to the clerk. I had them sitting on the console inside my car. I parked, grabbed the slips, my phone and my purse. I walked ten feet, about ready to walk in, went to put my phone in my pocket and realized the papers were not in my hand. I looked around, checked my pockets. Went back into the car to look – maybe I thought I picked them up. No papers. I knew I picked them up. Called my husband. “I know you’re going to find this hard to believe, but I just picked up two slips to take into the post office and now they’ve vanished.”
“Check your pockets.”
“I did.”
“Check the car.”
“I did. I swear, they’ve just disappeared.”
“Oh, you’ll find them.”
Well, I didn’t find them. I went back inside and rang the bell where you hand the slips to the clerk and I stated to the man, “From the time I walked from my car into this post office, I happened to lose the slips needed to get the returned mail. Can you check for me anyway?” I’m sure the man thought – poor ole lady and he took down the address and went searching for the mail. I was able to pay the postage due and leave the post office. I still never located those slips.

My husband sent me an email recently titled Lost Keys and it went like this:

            They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car’s ignition. He’s afraid that the car could be stolen.
            As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
            Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: “I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.” There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. “Are you kidding me? he barked, “I dropped you off!
            Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”
            He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t steal your car!”

And I had to laugh. I could see me doing that very thing.

Do you lose stuff?


  1. I'm afraid I do. And I usually lose it in plain sight.

    Critter Alley

  2. This winter I have had a rush on losing things. Mostly it has been food stuffs in cabinet. New tins of tea I KNOW are in there...spices....catsup...things I know I have bought, put in cabinets and are now missing. I have dragged out everything on shelves so many times this winter. I am trying to use up things and not buy more. I must downsize so I don't lose track of my life. I always overbought, kept storage, could withstand a blizzard for days. Now it doesn't help to have extras if you can't find them anywhere!!!

  3. Yes! I got ready to do my taxes, and had everything except three 1099 forms from the credit union. I had everything else and the kitchen sink right there, where I had been putting all tax-related mail until Jan. 31. I was sure I needed to call the credit union the next day, and tell them they forgot to mail out my 1099s, or else somebody stole them out of my mailbox.

    I looked in my credit union file, I looked in the pile of papers on the end table, I looked in the pile of papers on the coffee table, I looked through two piles of papers in my office, I looked--wait a minute! That was for last years's W-2, which I needed for my son's MIT application, and should have been with my copies of last year's tax forms.

    Yes. I lose things.

  4. Yes, all the time. I lose things in my purse. I will hunt in every pocket and in my wallet, and then later--too late--I find what I was looking for... in one of the pockets I searched.

    Maybe there IS a gremlin. Or those ghosts who do pranks on the living... And maybe your gremlin sometimes visits me as well.

  5. Okay, now that's hilarious. YES! I do stuff like this all the time. I'm always losing something these days, or think I've lost something when it's on my head, in my hand, or stuffed into my pocket. I blame the gray hair. ;)

  6. OMG, Lynn...this had me laughing out loud! This would've been a perfect story to enter the Erma Bombeck contest! (I didn't count the words, though....Is it less than 450?) LOL
    I am just like this, too....losing things, thinking I've lost things, etc.


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