Dear Mom,
I’ve often wondered if you ever had a dream of wanting to do something other than being a housewife. I’ve asked your sister once if she knew and she was pretty sure that you wanted to be a housewife and that was it. And that’s not bad mind you, as I love being a housewife myself, but I also have other dreams—being a published writer... of a book. Books. Right now I’m settling for plain writer.
What about when you were little? For instance, I had dreams of being a famous ballerina, a drummer in a band like Ringo of the Beatles, and also a pianist. Although I always loved writing letters even back then, being a writer never entered my head. I’m only guessing I felt it took more intelligence that I didn’t think I had. Not that those other dreams didn’t require intelligence, I was just clueless.
But along the way, I found my dreams being crushed and I finally gave in to listening to Dad to become a secretary. As you know he came from the era where women didn’t need a career because they’d marry and have babies. But if one did have to work, then secretary seemed the likely solution, so secretary it was.
Those skills proved beneficial now as a writer—organization, typing, multi-tasking, patience with men. Oh wait, that’s not required for writing or is it?
I have an idea why I didn’t pursue my dreams—couldn’t see beyond to think out of the box. It was easier for me to blame someone else. But I finally woke up and knew it was my responsibility. I decided I wasn’t going to let the same thing happen with my children.
I'd tell them: You have a dream? I'm behind you but you have to work at it, follow it, feed it, allow it to grow. I can't do it for you. No one can make it happen but you. If you want it bad enough, you’ll figure out a way despite anyone or anything. And, do what you love!
I feel like they all are doing just that.
Mom, if your dream was to be a housewife, then I’m happy it was fulfilled. God knows you excelled at it. But if it wasn’t and deep down somewhere you longed to do something else, then a piece of me is sad for you. And that inspires me all the more to fulfill my own dreams.
Great post, Lynn. I keep writing a comment and deleting it because I can't figure how to keep it short. I'll just say I'm right here with you. Yes, yes and yes to everything you wrote.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could ask my mom what her dreams were. I guess when she was alive I assumed I knew, that she was living it. Now I know I had no clue.
I followed my childhood dream to teach little kids, but expectations back 'then' were marry and have babies, so I did both. I love your writing to Mom posts.
ReplyDeleteI've wondered that about most women of that era. I'm sure your mother is cheering you on. ;)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Lynn! As your letters/posts always are. I loved to write letters when I was a young girl, too. I had lots of pen pals and a couple of them I actually stayed in touch with until I was married. We lost each other then, due to my name change and various moves, I guess....and also I probably thought I was "too old" for that then! It never occurred to me that the joy of writing letters had anything to do with "real writing" or that I might one day be a writer. It took me decades to put all the dots together! Good luck to you! I know you will fulfill your dream!
ReplyDeleteWonderful and tender words. I was fortunate that my eccentric parents (both gone now) encouraged me and my sister to be who and what we wanted to be and just go with it. I feel them behind my new endeavours as a writer.
ReplyDeleteDreams are the things that inspire us. How wonderful when we listen to that little voice, spread our wings, and fly.
ReplyDeletePat
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