Don't Try This at Home

Dear Mom,

I bought a Philadelphia Buttercup Pink bottle of OPI nail polish to paint my toenails. The lid wouldn’t unscrew. I struggled and struggled. I saw that someone must have tried out the color as dried up polish was at the base of the lid. I got out my fingernail file and tried to loosen the paint. Nothing doing. I poured nail polish remover in the base of the lid thinking that would melt it away. Nothing doing. I decided to tap it like you do to get a pickle or mayonnaise jar open. I went over to the sink and gave it a tap. With the second tap the lid and the top part of the jar snapped off and polish went flying. All over the sink, all over my hands. Thank goodness I was at the sink since it caught most of the mess.

I recommend if you can’t get a bottle of nail polish open, return it. Definitely don’t try the tap tap method of opening a jar.

By the way, did you ever paint your toenails? I remember them being thick as soda bottles but never painted. If my toenails weren’t so ugly, I probably wouldn’t bother especially after that episode.